Quickie...

So sorry everyone. Been crazy busy. Really need to get a new phone so I can stay on top of this. Anyway, I'll post more tomorrow. For some reason I feel like sharing some of my High school stories. So mess up they were. All the rumors they say about the bully jocks are true. I say that much. Big time Homo's and way deep in the closet but so funny how for so called straight guy they love to take it up the ass and suck a big dick. I'll leave it all there for now. I have to hit the bed and get a few.

Cheers.

Aaron

technology

I need some advice. I'm looking at getting a new phone so that I can also Blog from it while in school. Are one have advice on which one is best? I've gone to sever Smart phone providers, but the sales associates are not very knowledgeable of the cababilities of their products. I'd like to try the new Google phone, but no CDN provider has picked it up. I'm torn between the Blackberry Bold or the Iphone. My only concern is the new iPhone4gs comes out in June. What to do???

Cheers

Aaron

"Bitch Factor" X 10

To Cope.
This is one of the main reasons I started this Blog. A tool to aid me in getting through with every life and/or activities. WHY? Because you have to admit there will be times when you get pissed off.... Grrrr.....
Why can't I ever be Angry? I try to hard and I get Ziltch. Like WTF Dude. I want to be mad. But its just not in my nature. Guhh....
....sigh.... "puff"

So, Here is the up update that I so Frik'n need to get off my chest. Girls. Yes GIRLS. Not Woman. Little Girls who try to pretend they are women, but their body language and tone of voice betray their words. Fuk. Don't people know that of human communication; in the receiving portion, only 30% is verbal and the other 70% is from tone and body language. Ahhh....

Anyway.... (so mad)

The Girl (Not friend no more)..... where to start....


I woke extra early this morn so that I could have the time to stop at Tim's to pick up a Lg double double for my friend who exploded on me yesterday. Its her favorite Coffee. (I don't drink coffee). My intention was that is could be a Peace offering. I know she doesn't get to have them too often and when I do get her one she usually appreciates it.
Well Fuk that, not today... When I offered it to her, into the nearest garbage can it flew into. She threw it. Like it couldn;t get away from her fast enough.
Didn't say anything to me and wouldn't even acknowledge me... The whole darn day She was hostile, avoidable and didn't even look in my direction once all day.... (Do I have the Fuk'n Plague of a deadly disease)
Oh, and the Card.... I put so much thought and care into it... I went to three different places to find the right one. I picked up four others, but they were back ups.... It took me while to find the write word to use and write the card so that I can get what I wanted to say aross.... (Shit this upsets me)...
She just took the card, tore it up and trashed it..... (Fuk that hurt, still does, burns too)

....


I lost a friend today... Sucksass cause I'll see her everyday in class... I'll also work with her were I volunteer to... double sucks.... FUK.

This is a reason why I like guys. I expect this shit from them. And I can identify with the male persona more. ...lol... and if we do get pissed of we and just beat each other up... LOL (with boxing glove on of-course)

Its time like these being single sucks... the days when you just need a caring shoulder to lean on, and the comfort of a Hug just to know, "Its going to be Okay"... (My Preceptor would shoot me if he herd me say that) (Apparently it provides false sense of Hope.)
I just need Hope right now, and understanding....

"What did I do that was so Wrong to cause this effect???"

I need to hit the weights heavy or cardio hard at the gym... huge exam tomorrow and I can't focus my study and/or do revisions...

Thanks for the input and comments... they help. Keep them coming.



Aaron

PS.
I will try to figure out how to post pictures. Please give me some time. Cheers

Target...

Today is difficult to sum up. It was a, how should I put it... surprise...

I had a person, who I thought was a Friend, Rage out on me. The straw must have lander on her back, and she blew. It was a case of one of those things were I was in the wrong place at the wrong time I think. Nope, I know I didn't deserve it.

It was in the middle of class. I raised a hand to ask a question, and BAM!!! She blew. She stood up and let it all out. I let her finish with her spasm, Asked if she was done, and then said, "I am total shocked you feel that way and I truly am disappointed in you and you behavior". She blew off and attacked some more, and I responded, "I am sorry you feel that way". She then stormed out of class. I know I'm being vague, and I will try to be a little more clear... it just hard because her, episode was so random and made no sense and had no relevance.... it was like WTF!!!

She just exploded and went off about all the things she hates about me, the annoyances I have, I am too smart. Nerdy and then made/did a little childhood mimic of a scenario I did earlier in the day with a partner. F#$K it was so viscous and hateful. She snapped. So weird, because we were friends before the course started. I realize there is an age difference too. She is eight years younger than me. But Still.... That was so uncalled for...
I have never made anyone feel less of themselves or have insulted them...
.... TARGET.... That was it. That was me. Man it hurt, and stings still....
I just don't FRIK'n get it. I help out. I'm nice to everyone. I have been holding study sessions at my house for those wanting it, and I have been helping to tutor others who asked...
Nice thing about today is, everyone in the class stood up for me, or said something encouraging, and were just supportive of me. I feel good and all, but I feel worse because the girl, my friend who exploded, did it out of character... What is happening in her life that I haven't picked up on for her to SNAP.... I want to help her...

So, I need everyone's, Yes you the reader, to give me some input. I picked up a card for her. On the Front it says;

"Just the way you are, regardless of what you do or don't do,
past, present, and future, no matter where you go, even on your
not-so-good days... whatever you choose, with all your unique qualities,
simply because you're you... You Are Beautiful"

The card is blank on the inside. I wrote the following... Please comment and tell me if I did the right thing or if I'm a jerk, or ass or whatever... I just don't want to lose a Friend.




Dear __________

I just want to take this time, and let you know I care and I want to know if you are doing okay? I apologize if I have done anything that may have insulted or offended you. I have nothing but the utmost respect for you. I realize for you to lose your composure, lash out, verbally abuse , and then insult my intelligence.... you must be going through hard, and difficult times. I do not cast judgment on you, nor do I blame for your actions. People experience and go through life differently, encountering different obstacles along the way. Life can be unfair and cruel.

I think of you as a friend, but I now am in question if you ever thought the same about me.

I genuinely am a nice person, and a positive guy. I am attentive, eager to learn and intrigued by life and that is the reason I ask so many questions. I am most times "happy-go-lucky", and for good reason. If I were not, I would more than likely have been dead long ago. I am a good and even great friend to those who let me.

Despite what happened I do want us to be friends and build on that foundation.

I really do Care.

Your Friend,

Aaron

Tutor

Wow.... I just got in from Tutoring a few of the younger guys in Class. Turns out not many have College or Uni under their belt. I took anatomy and physiology in College when I was Personal Training. All I can say is I Love it when you see the light bulbs go from glowing Dim to a bright light like the Sun. I reviewed everything from Cell anatomy, up to How as EMT-A we can manipulate the Body system(s) ;with drugs and Tx; to regulate Homeostasis no mater the trauma or medical condition. It be great if I can teach EMT-A in the future once I have my Para-medicine.
Anyways Peeps, it late. a short post for tonight. Have school bright and early in the morn. \The school days are about 10hrs in length. Aw.... sigh... too too long.

Cheers

Aaron

A Broken Mold? Or somethig else?

Maybe as a guy I do have PMS...
Or I'm just F@#Ked up...
I consider myself Gay, buy every once in a while I meet that woman who just gets me ragging and I want to pound, or even try having a relationship with. It Confuses the heck out of me. Makes me sit on the fence. (There's PPls on my Class who turn me on if you haven;t guessed)
My Best Friend says it best, put as, "Just because you like to cook, it doesn't make you are a Chef". Buy why is that?
I do get turned on by women and guys... I've dated more women then men, but I enjoy gay sex more than straight sex, ... guys are more wild and it can be rougher... and a average manly guy with body hair, (nust be a Fetish) ... And then the big one,,, the threesome... HEAVEN :P.... Maybe its just me, and me being horny.... It been 7months since my last hook up. Well, not hook up. I don't have random sex. its been 7 months because I've been single for 6.
My last 2 relations were with guys... I'm babbling.
Well, Point is.. Why?
I ask GOD Why did he make me this way? Life would be so simple if I was a flaming Gay or a Jocky Breeder, but I'm Both. I am a Jock and Gay. Caught in the middle. ...
Maybe if I didn't have Morals, Values, or Respect it be easier? People wouldn't just assume I'm straight. It bugs me because I'm not and every new person I include into my life I have to come out... each time its a struggle (not because I'm afraid) but I have to LABEL/Categorize myself. I don't catagorize others, nor do I assume there sexuality because I know how it affects me.
I look at it as Loving a person, their soul, and not the body. Sex is good with men and women. Its my experience the the soul behind the body makes sex great. The Gender isn't everything...

Meh, its just one of those days... I just realize how different I am, but at the same time, I Love ME.
Its weird still. how it works out and all, life. I know life is good, and people are good...even sexy...

Cheers...

"Horny" Aaron

Blurry...

Today is just one to add in the bucket. It's a bit funny, ... Me, back in school. Oh ya. My classes began this week. What a gong show... Sorry for not posting sooner. I'll blame the College just because I can. Now, I'll fill you as to why;

Late last week, while out of town, I contacted the College and inquired as to why I haven't been notified of acceptance into the nursing programs (EMT-A) I applied for in early December. And, oh and its a big AND... They, they misplaces my... "how do I put it"... File. Yup my whole file. Like what the heck! How on earth can the administrative staff lose a potential students file??? I was frustrated at this.... WTF. My Program App, Crim Rec check, Vaccination report, Cover letter, Driving Trans., Copy of my Class4 Drivers license, My ALB Learning Transcripts, Resume, Copies of my Pre-Req credentials.... GONE... What did they do? Walk away... Man oh man,...

And silly little ol'me just kept my cool while on the tele (I was raging on the inside), I chalked it up to the busy holiday season, and the fact I live on another planet; (it feels like it sometimes)
But, but who does that? Oh, and get this, the only record the computer system showed was that I paid the application fee. WTH, 45$... GOD... Its not like I can whip everything up on a flash... most of the documents are official and cannot be copied.

Here's how it was. Course starts in two days. To get everything it would take at least 18 days (Crim Rec Check takes that long)... I phoned up many of the heads; Nursing Dept, Addmin, Cash Dept, Course Inst, and Student Serv. Luckily and gratefully everyone was willing to help and search as to what and why this happened. Phoned up my BF (Best friend), who was on the road leaving the city for the Big City. He came to my rescue. (Thank God). He turned around and headed back home so he can personally deliver the photocopies of all the records I turned into the college. (So happy I'm a geek, covering my ass and all) My BF is my BF because he/we lookout for each other like this. So awesome. I didn't even have to ask, I was just venting to him because if I didn't I'd explode, and he foresaw a way to help. Now only if he was Gay and not so skinny... lol

Dilemma ends because the college conditionally accepted me. I'm In. TFG....

So, Class started this week. The days are blurring together a bit. I have to get back into the study and research mode. This course is so harsh too. No easing the students in. Thrown in, and its swim or drown. Day one was Cell Anatomy and Physiology. Down to the basics. Makes sense, I took human anatomy and physiology in college. Its amazing how much info the brain can recall even over a large time period. I've been out of college for ummm.... ten years... Its coming back to me. I have a bit of an advantage over some of the students learning this for the first time.

oh wow. So Sorry. Have to cut this short. Have to jet. I work my volunteer shift at SJA in a few...
Ahh... busy busy busy.... I'll try to post again tomorrow.

Cheers

Aaron